Remy's Obsession
by ElvenMuggle
Summary: Oneshot Someone should have told Logan and Remy not to piss off an insane witch. Now they're both obsessed with the same woman.  Logan/Rogue hints but it's a ROMY


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, only this insane plot.**

**A/N: This story is insane, and I have to mention that I've never read any ROMY like it before. It's not an AU, but I guess it might seem AUish to someone who's never read this type of thing in this universe before. It is funny though (at least I hope it is) so read, please, and review :)**

…

Charles Xavier was a smart man. He was smart in things like math, politics, normal everyday problems, those not so everyday problems, and he even did his own taxes. So he knew—he was smart enough to know that when Logan and Remy came into the living room, laughing and talking about their mission that something was off.

It wasn't the fact that the two men were laughing and talking. No, they had gotten along alright since Remy had joined the X-men six months ago. They'd had their differences, but they had been civil to each other.

What wasn't alright was the strange story they were telling about their mission. Something about it sounded very wrong to Charles. He had the ominous feeling that the thing they were joking about was not something to be joked about. They were very skeptical about the whole thing, and Charles had to admit that when he had first heard it, he had been too. But something about it had made him think deeper.

And he had a feeling that Hank was thinking the same thing he was. Charles and Hank exchanged a look.

"Pardon me," he said seriously to the two laughing men, "but could you start the story over again from the very beginning, please?"

Sighing, Logan re-started the story.

"We were trekking through the forest; we weren't paying attention to whose land we were on, when out of no where, this old lady comes up screaming at us." Logan said. "She's wailing on and on about how we're on her property and how it's the sacred land of her ancestors, when Gumbo here," he waved a hand in Remy's direction, "decides to piss her off."

"Remy can't help it," Remy grinned mischievously, "I could never pass up the opportunity to ruffle some feathers."

"Yeah," Logan said in a bored tone, "well then she starts screaming at him, and I tell her to back off. She starts spitting out all this anti-mutant garbage, going on and on—how she knew we were mutants I don't know—but finally I tell her not to be so obsessive over her land and call her hag and tell her to shut-up and we'll get off the damned land."

Charles raised an eyebrow at this, but paid closer attention. The part that worried him so much was about to be told.

"Then she got this weird look on her face—she started laughing—said something about, 'I'll show you obsessive!' then she started saying this goofy chant."

"What exactly did the chant say?" Charles inquired.

Logan scratched his beard thoughtfully. "Oh I don't know…Something about 'obsessive love' and 'first woman you see'. Just a big load if you ask me."

Charles stared at him. Could it be that the strange woman's chant wasn't just a 'load' as Logan put it? Could it be that this was the woman that was a real…no…witches did not exist. But…wait…wasn't that a silly thought for a mutant who could read minds to think?

"Logan, Remy," he said seriously, "I fear that this may be more serious than you first thought. Have you seen any other women since you left that land?"

Remy and Logan both shook their heads. Besides the old hag, they hadn't seen anyone else. They had simply left, gone home in the jet, and come straight in here to tell Charles and Hank about it. They both mentally scoffed at the idea that the old lady had been the serious. That was an absurd idea.

"Well then," Charles continued, "I feel it necessary that you two stay here until I can investigate this further. Just, whatever you do, _**don't **_look at any woman."

As if on cue, the door opened at that moment and Rogue walked into the room. And despite what Charles had just warned the two men about, they both turned to see who had entered. Charles dropped his face into his hands. He didn't want to see what was happening.

…

Rogue entered the living room, happy after having a pleasant day. It was nice and pretty outside, she had been able to sleep late that morning, she had finished all of her danger room training with the team for the day, and she had just had a delicious turkey sandwich. Yes, today was a good day. She supposed that now she would go turn on the TV and see what was on.

Since Remy was gone on a mission there wasn't anything else she would rather do. Usually in this point in the day, she and Remy would go for a walk, talk, laugh, get to know each other a little better, and then she would fight him off when he tried to kiss her at the end of the walk and pretend that she didn't like it.

Yes, it was a nice routine and a nice day and she was sure that nothing could ruin it.

When she entered the living room, she was happy to see that Remy was already there. Now she wouldn't have to watch the Jerry Springer show until he came back.

"Hey Remy," she greeted him and a big, goofy grin made its way across his face.

This was normal. Rogue was met with that look almost everytime she entered a room, but no matter how many time she saw it, it didn't stop her heart from fluttering. What was NOT normal was the look Logan was giving her. She looked at him to see that he held almost the same expression as Remy, but more…Loganish…and it was more glazed over and starry-eyed.

But now that she looked, Remy was looking a bit starry-eyed himself.

Hm.

"Rogue!" Logan said breathlessly

Rogue gave him a strange look. "Uh…Logan…What's up?"

Logan started to blink rapidly as he continued to give her the starry-eyed look. His chest rose and fell as he breathed heavily—almost as if he had just run a mile. "Nothing," he said breathlessly, "just my love for you!" And he flung himself to his knees in front of her, his arms outstretched for her to run into.

Rogue stared. She stared for a long moment. "…What?"

Logan grabbed her hand and fervently started to kiss it all over, leaving quite a trail of saliva over the back of her glove.

Rogue stared in horror and laughed nervously. "Ok…Ok…this is a joke, right?" she looked desperately up at Charles, who was rubbing his face with his hands, to Hank, who was watching Logan with great interest, and then to Remy, who was looking ready to explode.

Wrenching her hand from Logan's grasp, Rogue took a few steps backward away from him. He gave her a look that remarkably resembled a puppy that had just been scolded, which worried her all the more. Logan was _not_ the type to give puppy dog looks.

At first she had hoped that this was all a joke, but judging by the reactions of everyone else in the room, she was starting to worry.

"If this is a joke, it's _not _funny!"

Professor X looked as if he were about to answer when Remy stepped forward, gripping his staff in one hand and glaring vehemently down at Logan.

"She's **mine**." He told Logan threateningly.

Rogue waved her hands wildly in the air. "Uh—WHAT?"

Ignoring this, Logan stood and moved to stand in front of her. "Let's get one thing strait bub," Logan lifted both his hands and with a _snikt_ out came all six claws. "I love Rogue, and Rogue loves me."

"WHAT!" Rogue shrieked behind him but it again went unnoticed.

Hank hurriedly moved to stand in-between the two men as Remy pulled a card out his coat pocket that glowed a dull pink color. "NO—No one is fighting!" he told them hurriedly. "Don't you remember, the woman—the old hag—she must have put a spell on you! This isn't real!"

Both men turned to glare murderously at Hank.

"How you could you say that I don't love her?" Logan yelled, "I know it's sudden, but I…I just _know _that she's the one!"

"See that's where you're wrong, mon ami," Remy said, "because I love Rogue. I always have, I just never said anything."

Rogue rolled her eyes and started for the door. "Ok, well if you all would just excuse me, I'm gonna go scream into a pillow."

Logan turned suddenly, looked alarmed. "No! Don't leave me!" And he was back on his knees again, claws just missing her as he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly to him.

Grinding her teeth together to keep from screaming, Rogue looked at Hank pleadingly. "What is going on?"

Hank coughed awkwardly and launched into his tale. Rogue listened in horror as he said things that didn't make any sense. Things like, 'we think she might be a witch' and 'obsessive love' and 'you were the first woman they both saw'. At this, she looked to Remy who was staring at Hank as if he had no idea what he was talking about.

"Ok, Hank, whatever you say," Remy shook his head, "but I am not under a spell. I _think _I would know." He turned to Logan again suddenly and screamed, "And get off of mon chérie you LEECH!" He suddenly flung his staff past Hank and it hit Logan on the back of the head with a sickening smack.

Rogue, Hank, and Charles all let out an "Oh!" and winced in unison.

Slowly, shaking with silent rage, Logan got to his feet and turned.

Though all of this was still trying to register in her mind, Rogue was smart enough to come between them. It was she, after all, who they were fighting over. Remy she was ok with, but Logan was a bit…creepy.

"Ok, let's relax. Logan…put your claws away and…and come in here with me," she told Logan calmly before turning to Remy. "And Remy, if you really, truly love me, you will stay _right here_."

Then, as Remy was pouting and Logan was retracting his claws, she aimed her thoughts towards Charles. "_Professor, what do I do?_"

"_Just stay calm,_" where Charles' words in her head, "_Keep Logan busy while I assemble the team. We don't want a fight to break out. _"

Rogue walked out of the door, motioning for Logan to follow her, and he did, following annoyingly within two inches of her.

One minute later, she had walked to the dining room and shut the doors behind them.

"I thought we'd never be alone!" Logan sighed and made to grab her.

She couldn't help it—she shrieked and ducked away from him to stand safely on the other side of the room with the large dining table between them. His scolded puppy dog look was back and he looked about ready to cry, which freaked Rogue out all the more.

"What's a matter, sweetheart?" He asked in a sad little voice that she had never heard from him before. "Why won't you let me love you?"

'_Oh dear lord_', Rogue thought miserably as she rubbed her forehead.

"Logan, please, sit down right there and try not to love me too much." She said as she sat down.

Logan puffed his chest out. "I will NEVER stop loving you! NEVER!" He said dramatically, "BUT—since I love you so much I will sit down as you asked."

"Yeah thanks," Rogue couldn't help but roll her eyes as she said this.

Logan slowly pulled out his chair and sank down into it, his eyes never leaving hers. Rogue breathed a sigh of relief as he sat down—thinking surely she could get him to shut-up in the name of 'love'. But just as Logan's posterior touched the seat of the cushion, he shot straight back up again.

"But I won't sit down for long, because I love you TOO MUCH!" He bellowed before throwing the chair aside and jumping across the table.

Shrieking, Rogue got up to run.

…

Outside in the hall, the X-men were gathered around Charles as he told them what was going on. They all listened, half amused, half scared, and little interested. They were so immersed in this tale, that they completely ignored (or didn't hear) Logan's constant and loud proclamations of love, Rogue screaming in terror, and the sound of footsteps running round and round the dining room table.

Everyone but Remy that is.

Remy was fidgeting around, pulling out his deck of cards and then putting them back in his pocket. Four times he had started for the door to the dining room, and four times he had doubled back. The others supposed that he must be fighting on getting to Rogue and doing what Rogue had told him to do.

Finally, he walked over to the group.

"Let Remy get in there first and take him out!" He said as he brandished his staff.

"No, Remy," Charles said sternly, "It is best for you to stay back—for love," he added quickly. Really he just didn't want Remy blowing Logan up or Logan cutting Remy's head off. That would take off two his team members!...And of course, he didn't want either one of them dead.

Remy groaned, obviously in despair, and went back to fidgeting around with his cards.

"I have a plan," Charles said to the other assembled X-men around him, "If we just get Rogue to convince Logan to leave her for a few moments, we could trap him and lock him up. I'll send her the message now."

…

Rogue dived under the table as Logan tried to grab her again, just barely avoiding his all too eager hands. He whined and dropped to his knees for the third time that day and looked at her sadly.

"Rogue, please, just let me touch you—just your hand would suffice."

Since when did Logan use words like 'suffice'? This was almost as scary to Rogue as everything else he had been doing. Suddenly, Charles' voice filled her mind.

'_Rogue, we have a plan. Convince Logan to go into another room without you._'

'_WHAT!_' She thought incredulously as she scrambled backwards away from Logan, '_That's your plan?_'

'_Yes._'

Rogue growled and stood up. Today was NO LONGER a good day. In fact, this was one of the worst days she had ever had. This was worse than the day they had had to battle the sentinels. This was worse than the day she had been under mind control and had inadvertently kicked everyone's asses. And this was far worse than last Thursday when she had had a bad hair day.

And her hair had looked _awful_ that day.

"Logan," she said, sighing, "come here."

Never before had she seen Logan skip like a little girl and never again did she want to. Logan skipped (like a little girl) around the table and gripped her in a bone cracking hug. For a moment, she couldn't move and when he loosened his grip she started smacking at his chest to get him to back away.

"Oh Rogue," he was saying in a disgusting voice full of longing, "I never thought I would hold you, and here I am! I'm the luckiest man in the world! Never will I let you go! Never, never, never, never, never, never, and oh, what was I going to say? Oh yeah, NEVER!"

"LOGAN!" She yelled as she struggled in his grip, "Logan, listen to me."

He stopped his gushing and stared at her, wide-eyed and silent.

"I need you to—" Rogue searched her mind, "To…make me a sandwich."

Logan's eyebrows came together on his forehead. "A sandwich? Yes, anything my love, ANYTHING!"

Rogue fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Yes, ok. Well I want a turkey sandwich."

Logan let go of her somewhat reluctantly and stepped away, but kept a hold of her arm. "Ok, one turkey sandwich, coming right up for my love."

"Oh, and put some cheese on there," she added.

He nodded. "Right, Swiss or American?"

"Swiss," she said quickly, "and also put some tomatoes on there." He nodded. "And some lettuce." He nodded again. "And put extra, extra, EXTRA mayonnaise. And some salami, pepperoni, some…uh…pickles, and you know what, put the American cheese on there too." She smiled sweetly as his somewhat confused look.

"Is that all?"

"No, cut off all the crust and then put it _inside_ of the sandwich. And then cut the sandwich in the little triangles. Oh, and don't forget salt and pepper."

"Uh..." Logan looked a little lost now, trying to remember everything she had said.

"And could you get me some chips to go with it?"

Logan nodded, professed his un-ending love six more times, and then left quickly out of the door.

FINALLY! She was FREE! Rogue waited until she could hear him in the kitchen before she raced for the door. The others must have hid in wait for him because they weren't out here as she had suspected. But it didn't matter; she was running for the garage. She was getting a car and getting the hell out of here before either Logan or Remy got to her again.

Swinging into the hall, Rogue ran through the foyer and out the front door into the bright sunshine. Yes, she was free, free!

It was at that exact moment, the moment where Rogue was sure she was going to get away when Remy jumped from the branches of a tree and landed, cat-like on his feet in front of her. She had to stop running suddenly and stumbled, but he caught her by the waist and grinned.

"Bonjour mon chérie!" He said happily before he hoisted her up over his shoulder and darted for a nearby parked car.

"REMY!" She screamed indigently at his backside. "Let me GO you—you nincompoop!"

She beat on his back but for all the good it did she might as well have been patting it. He completely ignored her and ran along until he reached the car which, she found out when he threw her down, was already running. Before she could protest, he jumped in through the passenger's side and drug her along with him.

She could have refused to get in, but it was either get in the car of be dragged along outside of it. He didn't loosen his grip on her arm as he put the car in drive and put his foot all the way down. Cringing, Rogue hurried to fasten her seatbelt with her free hand as the sound of squealing tires filled the air.

They went at break-neck speed down the driveway, Rogue gripping the door handle so hard that her hand hurt, and Remy laughing maniacally. He swung them dangerously onto the road, nearly tipping the car over, before he put his foot down again.

Rogue kept her eyes shut tight and was praying—praying and begging to do anything if only the car wouldn't crash with them in it.

"Now it's just me and you baby!" Remy, grinning, kissed the hand he still held in his grip.

Rogue opened her eyes and scowled at his profile. She'd smack him if she weren't afraid of _dying_ in a horrible car crash.

"Remy," she said silently, shaking with rage and fear, "pull the car over, now. If you love me-"

"Non, my l'amour, if I really loved you—and I do—I would take you to my desired location, and knowing you, you will soon desire it too."

Rogue stared. "Uh—what location?"

As he pulled to a red light, Remy gripped her arm tighter and turned to her with a grin.

"Rogue, marry me."

She stared for a long, _long_ moment in shocked silence. She had known that this 'spell' or whatever it was made Logan and Remy do insane, off the wall things but this was too much. Well…actually, this was the first crazy thing Remy had done. Everything else he had done she would have expected from him on a normal day-to-day basis. But she had heard Remy say more than once how he never wanted to get married.

She sighed. "Remy, listen to me. What you're feeling—what you think you're feeling—it isn't real. Don't you remember that some old lady put a spell on you? That's what's making you do this. Don't you see how crazy this all is?"

He did the exact opposite thing that she had thought he do then—and laughed. "Oh, my lovely chère. You just don't understand do you? I'm _not_ under a spell!" He shook his head as if he thought _she_ were the one that was acting crazy. "I really do love you, I always have."

Though she knew that none of this was real, Rogue couldn't help but feel a twinge of happiness about that. She wished that what he was saying was real. Except for the marriage part, she wasn't sure if she could deal with that. But if he really loved her like he was claiming to, well then…he _might_ just love her as much as she loved him.

"Remy," she said sadly, "I can't marry you, you're under this delusion of 'love' and I couldn't marry you like that."

He cocked an eyebrow at this and smirked. "Rogue, I'm not under a spell," he rolled his eyes again as if the idea was absurd, "and I really do love you, and I really do want you to marry me. And you're going to. Whether you like it or not."

"What! You can't make someone marry you!"

He grinned mischievously then, turning back the wheel as he started to drive again. "Oh yeah? Wanna bet?"

She scoffed. "I do!"

"HA!" he said triumphantly, "I've already got you to say 'I do'! And I know I can do it again."

Groaning, Rogue banged her head back onto the headrest.

…

Meanwhile, in the kitchen of the Xavier mansion, the X-men had finally won their battle with Logan and he lay, unconscious on the floor covered in mayonnaise and lettuce. And he wasn't the only one covered in food. The girls were trying to pick the tomatoes out of their hair while the guys were trying to pull out the bits of turkey that had flown down the shirts.

The kitchen was a complete disaster, Charles noted as he wheeled to the door and peered inside.

"Ok, we've taken care of Logan," Scott said proudly to Charles, "We'll lock him up and then lock up Remy too?"

Charles nodded and looked around for Rogue. "Rogue?" he called down the hall towards the dining room, "you can come out now."

They all waited for a moment but no Rogue appeared. Charles had a bad feeling about it and immediately started to search for signs of Rogue's mind in the mansion. He couldn't find any, and worse still, he didn't detect any signs of Remy either. Inwardly, he groaned before he turned back to his team.

"I'm afraid Remy has taken her," he said to their shocked faces.

"We're on it, Professor," Scott said as he started to lead the team out of the door.

Charles stopped him by holding up a hand. "No, Cyclops, you and I need to go find the woman who did this and get her to reverse the spell. Storm, you take charge."

Storm nodded and led the team out of the front door. Charles and Scott went down to the basement to get the X-jet. No one noticed that Logan had been awake the whole time, listening to everything they had said.

Slowly, he opened his eyes and sat up. Growling, his sniffed the air for Rogue and Remy, caught their scent, and then stood quickly. After pulling a wad of lettuce out of his hair, he stalked out of the kitchen to get himself prepared.

He wasn't sure where all of his feelings had come from, he knew they were sudden, but he knew they were very, VERY real and he knew that if he had anything to do with it, soon Rogue would be his wife and Remy Lebeau would be dead.

…

"Is it a man or a woman?"

"I'm not playin' twenty questions with you, Remy!"

"Are they alive or dead?"

"Shove off! I'm not playin'!"

"Are they famous or is it someone we know?"

Rogue rounded on Remy furiously. "Are you brain dead or just stupid?"

"Is it Kitty?"

Groaning, Rogue started twisting her arm in his grip for the hundredth time, trying to get away. "Let go of me you whack-job!"

Remy complied, shocking her. He had refused to loosen his grip for the past half hour. Instead he had kept a hold of her, professing his love, and kissing up and down her arm while driving with his free hand.

Rogue had been very worried when they had driven off onto the highway. She wasn't exactly sure where he was taking her, but she supposed that it must be somewhere to get married. When she had asked him, he had simply told her that it was a surprise and to shut her 'pretty little mouth'.

He apparently was under the impression (despite her anger, screaming, and multiple threats of violence) that she was looking forward to marrying him just as much as he was. Not only that, but he kept insisting that he wasn't under the spell, that it was all just Logan because he had a weak mind.

Of course, right after he had said that, Remy had turned to her and asked her how many children she wanted to have. He declared to her paling and astonished face that he wanted six. Three boys and three girls and his first boy he wanted to name Remy Jr.

After she had sworn that she didn't want to have children, much less six of them, he had simply laughed and rolled his eyes as if she was acting silly.

And after that heart-stopping conversation, Rogue was bound and determined to get away from him before they got to where they were going. Though she wasn't much worried about it, no one could _force_ her to marry Remy, so she wouldn't end up trapped with him.

But she had to get away before that happened.

That was when she had remembered that her cell phone was tucked safely in her back pocket. How she was going to get it and call someone without Remy noticing, she wasn't sure, but she knew she had to try. It was right then that Remy had started trying to get her to play twenty questions with him. And though she argued with him about it, she knew that the conversation would most likely distract him from what she was doing.

And now she had two hands. Remy was in every lane on the highway, weaving in an out of cars and going ninety miles an hour. Though this was still terrifying to her, she tried to think of something else to keep her mind preoccupied. And thinking of escape was a perfect way to get her mind off of the constant danger they were in right now.

Remy was concentrating on the road (thankfully) but still yammering on about something or the other. Rogue nodded her head, trying to look interested as she slowly snuck her hand down to her pocket.

Remy didn't notice as she pulled the cell out of her pocket and flipped it open. She carefully kept it hidden down at her right hip and hit re-dial. She was pretty sure that the last person she had called was Kitty.

"Hello?" She heard Kitty's voice and she looked over at Remy, terrified.

But Remy was still yakking on and on about honeymoon locations and hadn't heard anything.

"Remy?" She said suddenly and he stopped.

"Yes chérie?"

"Will you please tell me where you're going?" Rogue asked, hoping desperately that Kitty was listening. "I mean it looks like we're on the highway and headed south bound, but where _exactly_ are you taking me?"

Slowing the car down a little, Remy cast a suspicious sideways look at her.

Rogue gulped and tried to look innocent, though she felt that her guilt was written all over her face. Finally, Remy looked back out at the road.

"We're going to get married, and everyone is invited if they would like to come watch and NOT stop us." He said and with blinding speed reached over and jerked the phone from her hand. "Rogue," he scolded, shaking his head in disappointment. "That was very bad."

"Remy, wait-" she started but Remy continued to shake his head.

"Bad Rogue!" And he promptly tossed her phone out of his open window.

"REMY!" She thundered. NOW she was mad. Extremely irritated was what she had been when Remy and tossed her over his shoulder like a rag doll and kidnapped her, horrified she had been when he unveiled his plan to marry her, upset and wishful she had been when he proclaimed his love for her over and over, but NOW she was mad.

She had worked at the coffee shop in downtown Bayville for three months to be able to afford that phone! She hated coffee and hated the smell and hated the work but she had been satisfied by it all when she had bought that phone all on her own.

"That was expensive!" So what if she had gone overboard and gotten the fanciest phone there was? She had earned the money and it was her right.

Remy, unconcerned, rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't have a cow you silly goose! Remy will buy you a new one."

Rogue seethed. "I don't _want_ another one, I wanted that one!" She ripped off one of her gloves and dived for him.

…

Kitty snapped her phone shut and told the others what she had overheard. They were all packed into the X-van and had been following the direction that the tires marks on the road (from where Remy had squealed the tires) had lead.

Thankfully, they were already on the highway when Rogue had called, so Ororo pulled into the fast lane and drove faster.

Two towns over, Scott and Charles landed the X-jet on a none-too-manicured lawn of a beat up broken down cabin.

"Are you sure this is where she lives?" Scott asked, eyeing the cabin with some uncertainty. He wasn't sure if it was safe for anyone to live in _that_.

Charles nodded as they made their way down the ramp and onto the grass. "I sense her presence."

As if to prove that he was right, an old, hunched over lady on a cane exited the front door and stood on her porch to glare at them. Scott fought to urge to cringe when he saw her. She had startling white hair piled on top of a squat head. Her nose was long and hooked, and predictably, had a large wart on the tip of it. She glared menacingly at them through narrowed eyes and shook her cane in their direction.

"YOU get off my land, right now!" She bellowed, "this is sacred land of my ancestors! If you don't-"

"Professor, please just do the mind control thing," Scott muttered to Charles as the lady went on.

Charles looked disapprovingly up at him.

"Ma'am," he said gently, and the woman stopped screaming, "Please, you have placed a spell over a few friends of ours and we sincerely hope that you would consider removing it."

…

Rogue dived for Remy; the car jerked to the left and nearly hit the railing before he swerved it back over again. Cars blew their horns furiously at him, but he didn't notice because Rogue had her hands around his throat.

And nothing was happening.

Her violent temper slowly dissipated as Rogue stared at her hands and then at his throat.

"What—what?"

Remy smirked as she sank back down into her seat, still staring at her bare hands.

"I took the liberty of getting a few things made." He stated matter-of-factly.

Rogue just stared at him helplessly as he continued.

"Remember that guy, Forge? Well he didn't really want to make a power inhibitor at _first_ but then when met with ten thousand dollars, it seems that he couldn't resist."

"WHAT!" Rogue screeched, no longer staring at her hands, but more glaring at him. "What the hell is a matter with YOU?"

"I'm in love," he stated simply.

"NO, you're not!"

"Yes, I am."

"Shut-up!"

"Never! I love you!"

"REMY!"

"Yes, Mrs. Lebeau?"

She growled then, and furiously punched him in the arm.

"Ow."

"Don't worry Rogue," he told her confidently as she went back to crossing her arms and glaring at him. "You'll get used to my little quirks. You'll have to when we're married."

Rogue wanted to scream, cry, kick him in the face, and then run away, but seeing as they were still on the highway and packed in a little car, acting like a child was just going to have to wait. She couldn't wait until this stupid spell was lifted and she could escape these lunatics.

When that happened, she was running far away and never—wait a second. Remy had paid ten thousand dollars for a power inhibitor?

Ok, first off, where did he get ten thousand dollars? And second, why would Forge make such a thing and not tell any of them about it? And third, there was no way that he had got that inhibitor after the spell had been put on him.

Despite the day she was having, Rogue felt excitement flood into her at these thoughts. Obviously Remy had bought it for her—or for him to use with her. That meant that he had been planning on using it eventually.

But now that this spell had been cast, he was going overboard and had the inhibitor as a weapon.

And Rogue knew that without her powers, she had a major disadvantage of escaping him. It wasn't like she wasn't a good fighter though; no, she was actually a good one without her powers. But Remy was better. And Remy was stronger and sneakier than she was.

She was so busy glaring out of the windshield that she almost didn't notice the unmistakable X-van creeping up behind them. She held her breath anxiously. What if Remy saw? NO, she told herself firmly, she had to distract him.

"Remy?" She asked quietly and he cast her quick glance. He looked a bit surprised that her tone was much nicer than it had been but he answered her anyway.

"Yes?"

"I…" Rogue ducked her head as she stared at her lap, trying to feign shyness. "Maybe I was wrong. It might be…fun to marry you."

When he fell silent, Rogue bit her lip and looked up at him through her eyelashes. The affect was as desired. A wide, delighted grin found its way across Remy's face.

"Yes, Rogue, yes it will. I knew you would see reason sooner or later. Now be a good girl and come sit over here with me."

The last thing she wanted to do was unbuckle her seatbelt, but Rogue did it anyway and slid across the seat to snuggle up to him. Though she was just playing him, and the situation was ridiculous, her heart still thumped painfully in her chest at being so close to him.

He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

Rogue chanced a look in the rear-view mirror, and with a great deal of horror, saw that not only was the X-van behind them, but Logan was on his motorcycle and coming up next to them with his claws unsheathed.

She fought the urge to scream, the urge to wait for her team-mates to save her, and then the biggest urge to warn Remy about Logan. If she had to choose over Logan and Remy it would undoubtedly be Remy.

"Remy!" The last and biggest of her urges won and she pointed Logan out to Remy.

But Remy didn't seem all that shocked by it, and Rogue realized then that he must have known they were there all along. They were coming up on an exit, but Remy was making no move to take it. For a moment, Rogue contemplated on grabbing the wheel from him before suddenly, just as they were about to pass the exit, Remy jerked the wheel and the car went flying across four lanes and onto the ramp. They barely missed hitting the wall, not to mention Logan and three other cars.

Rogue scrambled back over to her side of the car and buckled up again, silently cursing Remy. Now her friends were going to have to take the next exit to be able to catch up. Speaking of her friends, why hadn't they done anything but follow them?

Rogue was growing more and more annoyed at everyone.

"Now we're safe, _and_ we're almost there," Remy told her happily.

She had no strength to fight it anymore. Well, she had a little, but she was going to save it for when they were standing in a church and Remy was saying I do.

"Where are we going?" She wailed miserably.

"To a person I called an hour ago on the phone. She has a permit to marry us."

"No!"

"I thought you said it would be fun?" He asked, looking a little hurt.

Rogue glared. "I only said that to distract you, doofus!"

He grinned then—though Rogue had no idea why and he offered her no explanation. He swerved onto an old-looking abandoned road and raced down it. It was starting to look like Remy had driven them out to the middle of no where and Rogue was getting worried that her team-mates would never find her.

"Don't look so sad, chère;" Remy told her happily, "You're getting married today so let's turn that frown upside down!"

Rogue fought the urge to hit him again.

They drove for fifteen more minutes before Remy turned down a dirt path that led into the woods. Rogue was growing increasingly worried by their surroundings, and by the fact that Remy was looking more and more excited by the minute.

"Remy," she tried one more time, "please, please, PLEASE, let me out of the car. What you're feeling is-"

"Completely real," Remy cut her off, "and I'll prove it."

She looked at him worriedly. "How are you-"

But she stopped short as they came to the end of the dirt path a pretty little cottage came into view. A tall red-haired woman was outside watering some flowers and she waved welcomingly at them as Remy pulled to a stop.

"Ready to become Mrs. Remy Lebeau?" Remy asked excitedly before climbing out of the car and dragging her out with him.

"No, I'm not!" She shouted, ignoring the fact that the nice looking woman was staring at them.

Remy rolled his eyes. "Rogue-"

The loud roaring of a bike's engine ripped through the air at that moment and Logan burst from the trees, coming straight at them. His claws already unsheathed, he jumped carelessly from the bike (that went spinning out of control and landed in the red-haired woman's garden who started grumbling) and landed neatly on his feet in a crouched position in front of Remy.

Remy walked away from Rogue and ripped his staff out of no where and began twirling it.

"You're going to die now, Cajun," Logan growled, "Rogue's MINE!"

"Non, she's Remy's!" Remy responded.

Before either one of them could move, the X-van came barreling around the corner and amazingly the X-jet landed on top of Logan's bike in the red-haired woman's garden (who looked on, becoming quite pissed) at exactly the same time.

Rogue wondered idly how they had known where to find them before Charles and Scott came down the ramp with an old, squat lady hobbling along between them on a cane and the rest of her team mates raced over from the van.

Remy and Logan noticed none of this, however, and Logan dived for Remy, who ducked and then brought his staff into Logan's stomach. Growling viciously, Logan came round and swiped at Remy's head, but Remy had jumped a few feet away from him.

The old lady came forward (looking grumpy) and tapped her staff twice on the ground. "Let the spell that was cast, be uncast." She said dully.

Logan grabbed at his head and groaned at that moment. Remy, however, just stood there.

"It is undone," the old lady croaked as she turned to Charles.

"What about him?" Charles motioned towards Remy and the old lady cast him an unconcerned glance.

"He was never under the spell, only that one." She pointed at Logan.

Everyone turned to stare at Remy, even Logan who was rubbing his temples as though he had a bad headache, and especially Rogue, who was gaping at him.

"REMY!" She burst furiously.

"Remy, all this time and you never told us you weren't under the spell?" Scott asked incredulously.

"What!" Remy stared around at them all. "I told you all three times that I was _**not**_ affected and I told Rogue about ten times."

Now that they he had reminded them, they all remembered. Rogue was feeling a strange mixture of emotions. Annoyance, most of all, for being taken against her will and was just about forced into marriage, anger at herself for not listening to Remy when he had told her repeatedly that he hadn't been affected, and…and strangest of all, a light headed joy that Remy _loved_ her and wanted to marry her.

And also that thing with the power inhibitor.

Ignoring the fact that everyone they knew was watching them, Remy came over to Rogue's stunned form and took her hand.

"Rogue, I was absolutely sincere about everything that I said. I never once lied to you." Smiling at her gaping face, he knelt down on one knee, pulled a diamond ring from his coat pocket, and presented it to her. "Please, mon chérie, Remy loves you more than anything else. I always have and always will. Will you marry me?"

Even though she wanted to hit him for putting her through everything he had just put her through, and even though she had told herself constantly that she didn't want to get married, her heart was bursting out only one answer.

"Oh, Remy, of course I'll marry you!"

Everyone was very confused. They had gone from a normal day, to Logan going berserk, to Remy kidnapping Rogue, and now to a proposal. But that wasn't the most confusing thing. No, the oddest thing was that when Rogue accepted this proposal, Remy jumped up happily and kissed her deeply, bending her backwards.

Since when did Rogue's power permit this?

But no one wanted to ruin the moment, and they all crowded, confused around the couple as the red-headed woman married them next to the ruined flower garden. Logan was looking very grumpy and embarrassed, but he stayed to watch anyway.

"Oh, wait," Rogue turned to Remy before the woman started the ceremony, "we don't have a wedding license."

Remy cleared his throat awkwardly. "Er—actually, remember the other day when you signed that slip of paper that Kitty brought you?"

Rogue stared. "So I signed it then? But…I thought you were supposed to have a witness for that?"

Remy grinned. "Yes, that's another ten thousand dollars I spent on getting you."

Ignoring this blatant corruption of the law, Rogue pretended that she hadn't heard his remark. Instead, she happily recited the proper vows and told Remy, "I do."


End file.
